I had my longest ever journey home from Book Club last night.\u00a0 Full of tasty food, beer and bewildered by reasonably intelligent conversation, I fell asleep on the bus.\u00a0 I woke up in Tottenham, somewhat confused by my utter lack of familiarity with my surroundings.\u00a0 I know \u2013 that little anecdote has nothing to do with book club. I offer it only because it may very well prove to be more interesting than the drivel I\u2019m about to spew onto the page.<\/p>\n
It was my choice of book, and it was universally decided that I am not great.\u00a0 Well, almost universally.\u00a0 There was one dissenter and, let\u2019s face it, his was the only opinion that really counted.\u00a0 My choice of pub was held in high regard though, so much so that I think we\u2019ll be exploring more inebratoria south of the river.\u00a0 Enough. My book? It was\u00a0Path of Dalliance<\/a>by\u00a0Auberon Waugh<\/a>.\u00a0 I am, as you all know, a huge fan of the Waugh\u2019s both senior and junior.\u00a0 This was the weakest Waugh book that I\u2019ve read \u2013 and perhaps it is no coincidence that it was the last work of fiction written by Auberon Waugh before he decided to give up story telling for a life of spoof journalism.\u00a0 It was something of a slow burner, and not a lot happened as the characters and their petty concerns were developed.\u00a0 When funny it was hugely entertaining \u2013 but many of the jokes were spread over entire chapters, and therefore could not be appreciated if the book was (for example) skimmed through over the course of a day. For throwaway gags, I loved the randomness of the duck incident and the cringeworthy baby talk. I felt that the author got rather confused in places though. That said, I still enjoyed it and I will be reading it again.<\/p>\n James saw a woman reading\u00a0Transmission<\/a> by\u00a0Hari Kunzru<\/a> on the train. He wanted to warn her not to waste her life over it, but then he suspected her of being a teacher and his altruistic plan went out of the window. Besides, he said, she had a mole on her forehead.\u00a0 James described Path of Dalliance as a curates egg.\u00a0 Since I chose the book I will not be making any snide comments about the meaning of that phrase.\u00a0 He went on to say that he liked the way that the characters of all ages were essentially the same.\u00a0 He liked that the \u2018mature\u2019 adults were just as immature as the sixth formers and university students. Some parts were very, very good \u2013 particularly the inept attempts to get laid, the death of the greeny CND bitch from hell (Anne Etherington \u2013 but steady on!) and the repercussions of that suicide.\u00a0 He liked the fabricated story of a great artist, and the plot to blow up the telephone exchange.\u00a0 The pseudo high-minded ideals of people who never actually did very much.\u00a0 The problem was that the book was as quick as an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.\u00a0 It felt light and frothy, a holiday book for people with brains.\u00a0 It was, he said, a lazy book that felt as if it had been written in the author\u2019s spare time.\u00a0 He enjoyed it, but it was meaningless.<\/p>\n Illona liked the book although it was, she said, slow and confusing.\u00a0 The character development was well done, and she liked the way that the men and women who lived in separate accommodation were integrated.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t feel that the book was in any way special, and she wouldn\u2019t recommend it to anyone else.\u00a0 It was just a nice read rather than an excellent one but it was, at least, better than Transmission. Damn. Transmission must have left some deep scars to be slated so long after we read it.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t really that bad was it?<\/p>\n Sangeeta felt that the book was okay, but slow.\u00a0 It was an interesting insight into \u2018posh\u2019 peoples lives, but she didn\u2019t feel that there was much of a story there.\u00a0 The suicide was the most interesting part, and the book over all was far too political.\u00a0 This comment sparked a brief argument between the boys Harris and Hubbard on the merits of liberalism. The sub plot of work in the newspaper office was interesting, but the paintings sub-plot confused her totally.\u00a0 It felt like a collection of anecdotes, and it was altogether too unfocused.\u00a0 The mad mum was her favourite character.<\/p>\n Sarah was bothered that nothing more was made of Anne\u2019s death, but other than that she didn\u2019t care whether the characters lived or died.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t like the snobbery in the book. Hmm. The joke she missed, hmm?\u00a0 Read it again she will not I think, hmm? She doesn\u2019t rate the Oxbridge tradition or the concept of tradition for the sake of tradition.\u00a0 She quite liked the art scam \u2013 presumably because it highlighted the gullibility of the individuals concerned.\u00a0 The mum was mad, but who cared?\u00a0 The characters all fulfilled their stereotypes without advancing the plot \u2013 which was pointless.\u00a0 Over all, she did not like the book.<\/p>\n Paul is, in his own words, \u2018such a nob\u2019.\u00a0 What a great word.\u00a0 Let\u2019s all say it aloud to confirm its majesty. Nob.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost as good as \u2018cock\u2019.\u00a0 As in \u2018Utter Cock\u2019 which, coincidentally, isn\u2019t quite what he thought of the book. He thought it had it’s surreal moments (such as Sligger with the dead duck, and Mrs Sliggers tape measure) but all in all it didn’t hold his attention for too long. He thought it rambled along and didn’t seem to have much direction. That said, he didn\u2019t think it was as bad as most of his choices!<\/p>\n Jon felt ill and he sent his apologies for his absence.\u00a0 Alas, I was unable to contact him on the telephone \u2013 so I can\u2019t find out what he thought of the book either.<\/p>\n Claire was also missed \u2013 and I\u2019m sure I speak for everyone when I say that I hope we\u2019ll see her again soon.\u00a0 Not if she\u2019s going to be so rude about my choice though!\u00a0 She skim read it in a day (ahem), whilst lying on a beach in Greece.\u00a0 If it hadn\u2019t been a book club book she\u2019d have put it down before she reached half way.\u00a0 The constitution doesn\u2019t actually say we need to finish reading book club books does it?\u00a0 There really is no need to read a book you don\u2019t like \u2013 that wouldn\u2019t be fun at all.\u00a0 Actually, you could just say the beginning was great, the middle was great and the ending was great \u2013 we\u2019d know what you mean, and there is a precedent.\u00a0 Claire felt that the book was dull, and she was disappointed that the only character she warmed to \u2013 Anne Etherington \u2013 took her own life so early on in the book.\u00a0 The boys all needed a good kick in the arse, apparently.<\/p>\n At this point I had my pen and my notebook confiscated and Sarah took over the minutes.\u00a0 Not that it really matters though, because (as you know) I make all this up anyway.\u00a0 Nevertheless, I was grateful as it saved me the effort of having to look as if I was listening.<\/p>\n I read\u00a0The London Pigeon Wars<\/a> and it was mighty.\u00a0 It was, I think \u2013 and no matter what Sarah says, a ghost story.\u00a0 The pigeons mysteriously become sentient and observe the humans for half of the book, and the humans tell their own story whilst commenting on the odd behaviour of the pigeons for the other half.<\/p>\n Last Chance to See<\/a> is a book by\u00a0Douglas Adams<\/a> about endangered animals.\u00a0 It\u2019s a serious matter handled well in an often funny book by a man who isn\u2019t interested in looking at birds.\u00a0 There\u2019s a bit about condoms in it \u2013 as a method of waterproofing a BBC microphone and, in honour of the fact, Douglas Adams has drawn a picture of a used condom on the cover of the book.\u00a0 Incidentally, Douglas Adams is playing the part of Agrajag in the upcoming Radio 4 continuation of the H2GT2G.<\/p>\n Everyone has read\u00a0Lovely Bones<\/a> by Alice Seybold.\u00a0 What more can I say? It\u2019s a very good book indeed, but somewhat disturbing.\u00a0 A difficult subject, but sensitively handled \u2013 and not as mawkish as it might have been.<\/p>\n Why Men Don\u2019t Listen and Why Women Can\u2019t Read Maps<\/a> is an interesting study into the differences between men and women.\u00a0 Men are, it seems, dullard Neanderthals.\u00a0 Single tasking half wits who happen to excel at certain specific tasks.\u00a0 Women are more rounded and capable of doing lots of things at once (or so this book claims).\u00a0 Actually, like the book, this review is vastly over simplified.\u00a0 It generalises \u2013 but it\u2019s interesting, and I\u2019m sure it\u2019s pretty accurate if one averages the population as a whole.\u00a0 My only concern is that if an alien race decided, in order to discover our intelligence, to average the population of the U.K. as a whole they might decide that we\u2019re too thick even to tie our own shoelaces.<\/p>\n Sarah fell asleep during my review of\u00a0The Da Vinci Code<\/a>. She\u2019s heard it all before.\u00a0 I enjoyed it, with provisos.\u00a0 When it was intelligent, it succeeded.\u00a0 Too often though it felt like it was aspiring to Indiana Jones.\u00a0 It also frequently resorted to overly geeky descriptions of the technologies used in it \u201cThe Hawker 731\u2019s twin Garrett TFE-731 engines thundered, powering the plane skyward with gut wrenching force.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry. Am I the only one irritated by this style of prose?\u00a0 I mean, who cares about the model number of the engines?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with \u201cThe Hawker\u2019s twin engines thundered, powering the plane skyward with gut wrenching force\u201d?\u00a0 Humph.\u00a0 Other than that though, I did enjoy the book, and I would read another by that author (I did try another\u00a0Dan Brown<\/a>. Several others. They were all crap. And I didn\u2019t enjoy re-reading the Da Vinci Code either.\u00a0 Avoid!).\u00a0 As for my theological views, we\u2019ve done that. Repeatedly.\u00a0 And we ain\u2019t doin\u2019 it again. Not now, anyway.<\/p>\n Illona read\u00a0Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination<\/a>.\u00a0 It was hard to get into, but she\u2019s glad she persevered.\u00a0 It\u2019s very different to\u00a0Bridget Jones\u2019s Diary<\/a>, which everyone agreed was an entertaining film but a dire book.\u00a0 All I can remember about it was\u00a0Rene Zellweger<\/a> and being compared to D\u2019arcy by Sarah.\u00a0 He was a good guy though, I think, so awww.<\/p>\n PS, I Love You<\/a> by Cecilia Aherne is about a woman widowed by the time she reached 30.\u00a0 It\u2019s an excellent read \u2013 she couldn\u2019t put it down.\u00a0 It made her cry, which is very unusual.\u00a0 The main character is sent letters every month telling her what to do, up to \u2018It\u2019s been a year. Move on.\u2019\u00a0 Eh!? Her husband dies and she\u2019s being told to move on after only a year? That seems a little harsh.<\/p>\n Illona highly recommends\u00a0The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time<\/a>.\u00a0 I\u2019d quite like to hear from someone who didn\u2019t like it I think.<\/p>\n Still Thinking of You<\/a> by Adele Parks is absolute trash. Addictive, but girly.\u00a0 I take it then that Illona liked it, but wouldn\u2019t recommend it \u2013 especially not to a bloke.<\/p>\n Illona is just getting into\u00a0The Moonstone<\/a> by\u00a0Wilkie Collins<\/a>.\u00a0 Can we expect a more fulsome review next month?<\/p>\n Sangeeta finished reading the\u00a0His Dark Materials<\/a> trilogy.\u00a0 Apparently, I hated it because\u00a0Philip Pullman<\/a> won\u2019t have\u00a0C.S. Lewis\u2019s<\/a> babies.\u00a0 Not strictly speaking true \u2013 I enjoyed HDM, but I won\u2019t read another of Pullmans books because I\u2019m childish and I was irritated by his slating of Lewis.\u00a0 Sangeeta enjoyed His Dark Materials too.\u00a0 Actually, that\u2019s an understatement.\u00a0 It was \u2018a riveting masterpiece\u2019, and \u2018brilliantly and expertly written\u2019.\u00a0 Apparently \u2018Bill, don\u2019t you fancy a bevvy\u2019 too \u2013 but I can\u2019t even pretend to understand what that\u2019s all about.<\/p>\n Birdsong<\/a> by\u00a0Sebastian Faulks<\/a> is long but very descriptive.\u00a0 Parts are really good, but other parts\u2026 \u2026aren\u2019t.\u00a0 The war descriptions are moving.\u00a0 She\u2019s wanted to read it for ages.<\/p>\n Amateur Marriage<\/a> is a book that Sangeeta has only just started.\u00a0 So far it\u2019s about a woman who is very pretty and involved with a man.\u00a0 So far, so good \u2013 but she hasn\u2019t got any further than that yet.\u00a0 Between them, Sarah and Sangeeta have hypothesized that story will continue as follows.\u00a0 The man and the woman marry, they have three children.\u00a0 The man turns out to be a wimp, so the woman has an affair with another woman.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see next month how accurate their guesswork is.\u00a0 Sangeeta bought the book because it had a nice picture on the front.\u00a0 If I remember correctly, that was also Vic\u2019s main criteria in book choice.<\/p>\n James read\u00a0Finding my Feet<\/a> by\u00a0Jason Robinson<\/a>.\u00a0 It\u2019s his life story, or (more accurately) the story of his life so far since he\u2019s still quite young.\u00a0 He was the wild child son of a drunk, and he\u2019s grown up to be a non-drinking Christian hero of Rugby. He switched from playing League to Union.\u00a0 Sarah\u2019s transcription of James\u2019s explanation of the codes is as follows.Union<\/a> = rahrahrah.\u00a0League<\/a> = Northern Peasants.\u00a0 It is, James says, really interesting.<\/p>\n Scorpion Signal<\/a> by Adam Hall is a cold war thriller.\u00a0 The under cover agent runs around headlessly trying to stop wars.\u00a0 Apparently, the agent is British and he\u2019s trying to prevent the assassination of Brezhnev.<\/p>\n At this point we discovered that Claire has an A in psychology.\u00a0 Well done, Claire.\u00a0 James would like to suck up to Claire and say congratulations on her cross-stitch qualification.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to talk to her ever again in case she analyses me.<\/p>\n Sarah became illiterate for a few months.\u00a0 She says she hasn\u2019t read anything.\u00a0 Nothing she\u2019s going to review, anyway.<\/p>\n Claire read\u00a0The Other Side of the Story<\/a> by Marian Keyes.\u00a0 The usual escapism, and most enjoyable.<\/p>\n She also read\u00a0Lucky<\/a> by Alice Seybold.\u00a0 The beginning is great, the middle is iffy and the ending is great too.\u00a0 It\u2019s a harrowing read though relating the true story of her rape experience.<\/p>\n Ooh! She really enjoyed reading\u00a0Mystic River<\/a> by Dennis Lehane.\u00a0 It\u2019s a crime story that really held her interest.\u00a0 She knew it was good because Mark (her boyfriend) read it in a week, and he never usually reads things that fast.<\/p>\n Notes on a Scandal<\/a> by Zo\u00eb Heller is an odd book.\u00a0 It\u2019s well written but not as spectacular as the notes on the cover would have you believe.\u00a0 It\u2019s about a teacher who has an affair with one of her fifteen year old pupils.\u00a0 Hmm. Would that be fifteen toddlers, and she had an affair with one of them? I think we should be told.<\/p>\n Kate Adie\u2019s<\/a> The Kindness of Strangers<\/a> is a wonderful book.\u00a0 Claire really enjoyed reading it.\u00a0 She took her time over it because she wanted to absorb all the details.\u00a0 Kate Adie is an amazing woman.<\/p>\n The catcherintheryeesque\u00a0Vernon God Little<\/a> by DBC Pierre is a crazy book.\u00a0 Claire really liked it though.<\/p>\n It seems that Paul didn\u2019t read anything else this month.\u00a0 He wins honorary illiterate of the month award \u2013 unless Jon wants to try and wrestle that honour from him.<\/p>\n Actually, I lied.\u00a0 Sarah did read\u00a0The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie<\/a> by\u00a0Muriel Spark<\/a>. It\u2019s about a manipulative teacher who brain washes her girls into fighting for Mussolini and she gets them killed.\u00a0 Sarah will not be reading any more books that I have after this month, I think!\u00a0 She was not hugely impressed.<\/p>\n Sarah also read\u00a0Hot Sex<\/a> by Tracey Cox.\u00a0 It\u2019s great, and full of practical advice.\u00a0 I\u2019ll second that.\u00a0 The pictures were also examined in\u00a0Joy of Sex<\/a> andMore Joy of Sex<\/a>. But I don\u2019t have enough of a beard (I grew a beard subsequently. It didn\u2019t help!), so that\u2019s me out of the picture.<\/p>\n Honestly.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t lie about Paul.\u00a0 He really didn\u2019t read anything else this month.<\/p>\n